BREAKING FREE FROM THE GOOD GIRL MINDSET

When was the last time you hauled your lounge rug outside to the washing line and beat it with a stick? Of course, these days, we’ve got vacuum cleaners that do the job faster and better—some even take care of the work with the cat sat on top while we’re having a cuppa. Yet when it comes to using AI tools like ChatGPT or Copilot, there’s a hesitancy among many women to embrace this same logic. Why is that? 

The answer lies in something referred to as the “good girl” mindset—a deeply ingrained set of expectations that’s holding women back from diving headfirst into the AI revolution. 

The "good girl" mindset starts early. From childhood, girls are often encouraged to follow rules, seek validation, and colour inside the lines. We’re told to avoid shortcuts, stick to traditional methods, and not to "cheat." Schools reward neat handwriting, compliant behaviour, and perfectionism, which all seem harmless enough—until those same qualities make us risk-averse adults, wary of trying something new.

In professional settings, this mindset manifests as a reluctance to embrace tools like AI. Women may feel that using AI is somehow “cutting corners” or that they need to master it completely before giving it a go. The result? A significant gender gap in AI adoption.

Recent data paints a clear picture of this disparity:

• Overall usage: 54% of men use AI compared to just 35% of women [3] [4].
• Generative AI tools: 43% of men have tried tools like ChatGPT, but only 28% of women have done the same [2]. 
• Regular users: Among 18-65-year-old workers, 59% of men use generative AI weekly versus 51% of women [1].
• Even among young adults which surprised me —those supposedly fearless digital natives—the gap persists. Seventy-one per cent of men aged 18-25 use AI, compared to only 59% of women [1]. Why the hesitancy?

For many women, AI triggers a swirl of complicated emotions. 

• Fear of getting it wrong: “What if I use the tool incorrectly? Won’t I look unprofessional?” 
• Guilt: “It feels like cheating if I let AI help with this task?” 
• Impostor syndrome: “I’m not technical so I definitely won’t understand it 

Sound familiar? Trust me, you’re not alone. On top of this, we’re juggling work deadlines, phone calls, Teams meetings, family taxi service, washing, dog walking, putting food in the fridge, planning meals, trying to stay fit, how we look, worrying what people think… not forgetting… oh what was it I wanted to add…. (brain fog moment) oh yes, the ruddy menopause! I’m knackered just writing this thinking about it all! No wonder we’re hesitant to add another “must-learn” skill to the mix. But let me ask you this: Is using AI to write a report really any different from using a washing machine instead of scrubbing your clothes on a washboard?

It’s time to reframe this mindset. AI isn’t cheating; it’s working smart. It’s a way to lighten the load, to stop the procrastination and rumination and free up time for the things that truly matter – including ourselves!

To move past the guilt and hesitation, we need to create spaces where women can openly discuss these feelings. Share fears, triumphs, and yes, also our mistakes – we are only human after all! None of us started as experts, and we shouldn’t expect perfection from ourselves—or anyone else. 

Imagine a world where women confidently use AI to tackle mundane tasks, freeing up brainpower for creativity, leadership, and innovation. It starts with us, supporting each other and championing experimentation.

1. Embrace experimentation: Give yourself permission to try AI tools without the pressure to be perfect. Play around with ChatGPT or Copilot for brainstorming – use it as a coaching partner to perfect and craft your ideas.
2. Seek targeted training: Find social learning opportunities to create AI champions and share your journey with like-minded people. Dip your toe in and see how easy it is to get started. 
3. Reframe your perspective: Using AI doesn’t make you lazy; it makes you efficient. Think of it as your digital assistant—not a replacement for your skills but an enhancer. 
4. Champion diversity in AI development: By supporting women in AI roles, we can ensure the technology reflects our needs and perspectives. 

1. The AI revolution isn’t waiting, and we can’t afford to be left behind. The same way we embraced the washing machine and the hoover, it’s time to embrace generative AI as a tool that enhances—not diminishes—our abilities. 
2. So, let’s leave the “good girl” mindset behind. Instead of striving for unattainable perfection, let’s celebrate working smarter, taking risks, and supporting each other along the way.  Oh and… let’s beat the boys!

References:

1. https://theconversation.com/women-are-less-interested-in-ai-than-men-but-using-it-would-help-them-advance-at-work-233511
2. https://www.deloitte.com/uk/en/about/press-room/over-eighteen-million-people-in-the-uk-have-now-used-generative-ai.html
3. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-67217915
4. https://techround.co.uk/tech/more-men-ai-women/

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